{18}{60}Slate one, take one.
{171}{212}Oh, dear.
{231}{372}I hope there's a fire alarm and we all|have to go home. I don't want to do it now.
{440}{540}There's people sitting right in the back row|which must be a good sign.
{638}{738}Will you please give it up|for Matt Lucas and David Walliams!
{742}{802}(APPLAUSE)
{806}{856}(THEME MUSIC)
{1365}{1415}Hello!
{1606}{1669}He was looking at you like he loves you.
{1721}{1828}I'm gay and I pride myself on the fact|that I've never had sex with another man.
{1832}{1919}- That's your lookout.|- I take it you'll be leaving the village?
{1923}{2009}- Why should I go anywhere?|- I am the only gay in this village!
{2035}{2133}Young man, is this picture suitable for ladies?
{2137}{2225}...I don't even know about!|Anyway, Carly's just a slapper!
{2299}{2354}Hello, Mrs Llewellyn.
{2358}{2424}Oh, hello, Daffyd. What can I do you for today?
{2428}{2533}I'll have a quarter of bonbons|and a copy of "Gay Times". It's my only outlet.
{2537}{2623}{y:i}(MATT) A lot of the characters|from the radio series are there,
{2627}{2696}{y:i}but the sketches have tended to change.
{2700}{2818}I think we probably thought we would be able|to use a lot more of the stuff from radio.
{2822}{2910}{y:i}(DAVID) We just thought|you'd look at it and go, "Fine. "
{2914}{3014}{y:i}But a visual joke, I've always thought,|is worth a hundred verbal jokes.
{3018}{3079}{y:i}On radio there are no visual jokes, really.
{3083}{3154}Paul sort of could come in sheepishly.
{3220}{3274}(LAUGHTER)
{3278}{3337}Picture yourself naked.
{3341}{3397}Not nice, is it? Eh?
{3401}{3521}Who would want a great lump like that|huffing and puffing on top of them all night?
{3525}{3575}Eyes closed, Paul.
{3579}{3719}- You want to come up with a name that's funny.|- Yeah, like a comedy character name.
{3723}{3799}You don't want it to ruin|the credibility of the character.
{3803}{3866}{y:i}(DAVID) Sometimes they're completely|invented names.
{3870}{3995}Marjorie Dawes was Bob Mortimer's suggestion.|That character came from "Shooting Stars".
{3999}{4061}Myfanwy is the name of our producer.
{4065}{4153}Matthew Waterhouse sketches,|they're all "Doctor Who" actors.
{4157}{4232}Matthew Waterhouse played Adric|in "Doctor Who".
{4236}{4317}He was a companion|of Tom Baker and Peter Davison.
{4321}{4374}It's just things like that.
{4378}{4487}Sometimes they're little in-jokes for us to enjoy|and sometimes for the audience.
{4491}{4571}Somebody definitely came in|and bought it yesterday.
{4575}{4702}It's got Hazel Dean on the cover|and a very informative article on rimming...
{4706}{4822}- You still haven't told me what that means!|- (LAUGHTER)
{4826}{4892}He actually blushed when I asked him.
{4896}{4955}Yeah, that's because I don't know.
{5176}{5248}I'm Terry the builder today.
{5252}{5313}I'm playing "Doctor"
{5317}{5417}and, erm, we've decided|to give him a bit of a cold,
{5421}{5502}give it some texture,|make it more of a scene, less of a sketch.
{5506}{5576}We're just doing a sketch where...
{5580}{5636}It's set in the hospital
{5640}{5704}and it's my mother, she's had a fall.
{5708}{5815}And so... And then|I shall pack her off into a home.
{5819}{5894}She's not ready for a home,|but I shall pack her off into one.
{5898}{5952}That's the sort of person I am.
{5956}{6044}- Still running, Steve. You wanna go again?|- Yes, please.
{6048}{6123}- Right, then, are we all sorted?|- Nearly.
{6127}{6168}Yeah, ready!
{6249}{6304}(LAUGHTER)
{6308}{6368}# Don't give up on us, baby
{6372}{6434}# We're still worth one more try... #
{6503}{6540}Cheerio!
{6579}{6663}- 9.30.|- 9.30. 8.10, I was peaking.
{6667}{6726}Now... The day's gone for me.
{6730}{6790}- The scene's dead.|- I'm going home.
{6794}{6857}- What are we doing now?|- Same again, please.
{6861}{6896}Oh, God!
{6998}{7101}We're filming the " Dr Lawrence|and Anne" sketches. This is the first one.
{7105}{7170}This originated from the improvisations we did
{7174}{7258}at Steve Pemberton|and Reece Shearsmith's house about...
{7262}{7324}- Five... It was about six, seven...|- Years ago.
{7328}{7435}We just mucked about with a video camera|and we all came up with different ideas.
{7439}{7554}Basically, Dave put a dress on over his clothes|and some funny glasses
{7558}{7619}and started going, "Eh! Eh! Ehhh!"
{7623}{7682}Somehow it felt funny.
{7686}{7783}Reece was holding the camera, I think,|and kept going, "Anne? Anne?"
{7787}{7862}But whether the public find it funny,|we've yet to see.
{7866}{7916}Eh! Eh! Ehhh!
{7920}{7980}And, worryingly, that's the director.
{8000}{8095}Just getting into character, the character of Anne.
{8099}{8182}We wrote a whole biog of her life...
{8203}{8264}where she grew up...
{8281}{8351}Just so I can say the lines, "Eh! Eh! Ehhh!"
{8485}{8543}Today I'm doing Dame Sally.
{8547}{8625}Actually, I'm playing|the role of Jesus Christ today.
{8629}{8704}- Robert Powell as Jesus Christ.|- Jesus of Nazareth.
{8708}{8820}I've had a chat with the BBC,|you know, the producers of "Little Britain",
{8824}{8924}and said that it was OK to film in my garden|for this car-boot sale.
{8928}{9010}So we've sort of mocked up a car-boot sale.
{9014}{9136}We've hired a few thousand extras,|erm, some cars...
{9166}{9271}{y:i}The story of the sketch|is that Gary's mate comes in,
{9275}{9363}{y:i}Jason, and he fantasises all the way through
{9367}{9467}and he sees this old granny|as a beautiful young woman
{9471}{9559}and he makes|all these kinds of advances to her.
{9609}{9671}Gary, get your nan a glass of water.
{9707}{9766}(WHEEZES)
{9860}{9897}(COUGHS)
{9901}{9951}Oh, that's got it!
{10169}{10253}She sits down and says, "Oh, I forgot the salt."
{10257}{10320}- Then it's pretty much as is.|- Brilliant.
{10324}{10403}The stuff about them|going to have a cry, that's gone?
{10407}{10466}(LAUGHTER)
{10599}{10717}{y:i}Yeah... Every costume person has|loads of sovereign rings for some reason.
{10721}{10851}It's like a kind of shorthand|for sort of..."common".
{10856}{10917}- Isn't it?|- Are you not hard in it?
{10922}{10971}Am I not hard?
{10976}{11084}No, not really. I'm just "bloke".|I specialise in playing "bloke".
{11088}{11140}Shooting for about 35 days.
{11144}{11206}- What, on location?|- Mm-hm.
{11223}{11342}- So, if you feel like shit now, it's a bad sign.|- Absolutely.
{11696}{11781}These boys here|at the Kelsey Grammar School...
{11785}{11887}Sometimes we both want to play things.|Sometimes we change.
{11892}{11983}You're writing it thinking as the character,|not as me doing it.
{11987}{12049}I think it's a much better way of writing.
{12053}{12153}You're sort of...|Your performance ego can get in the way a bit.
{12157}{12219}The characters should write themselves a bit.
{12223}{12263}Take two!
{12267}{12327}Stop! What a dreadful dirge!
{12331}{12393}Wilson, Danson, Joyce...
{12543}{12597}- Action!|- Nutter...
{12624}{12686}Shall we just watch the video?
{12690}{12740}Yeah. Yeah, better.
{12744}{12794}Thank you!
{12862}{12924}I have to go to the loo.
{12936}{12985}(THEME MUSIC)
{13446}{13520}I'm slightly frightened of small children en masse.
{13525}{13606}The old, um, threepenny bits? Is that the?
{13623}{13679}Threepenny... The shits!
{13684}{13747}It was really bad, vomiting.
{13752}{13847}- It's the pressure of work.|- I had dicky pork ribs the night before.
{13851}{13913}That's what a trooper I am. Doctor Theatre!
{14029}{14095}And... action!
{14100}{14220}{y:i}They used to be friends of mine.|Very good friends. Really very dear friends.
{14237}{14327}Looks great on the page.|Come sunbathe in the rain!
{14344}{14389}Very miserable!
{14600}{14658}It's the middle of May and it's raining.
{14662}{14748}I'm glad the weather is bad.|It means we're not missing anything.
{14752}{14810}I can do a wheelie. Watch!
{14902}{15028}I had to say "smurf", "smurf outfit", and it was|very difficult to say with these teeth in.
{15032}{15166}But it just... It actually affects my upper lip|and makes my upper lip look kind of weird.
{15171}{15255}I think I look... I think I look slightly simian.
{15260}{15321}I'm going in to watch "Monster Trucks".
{15361}{15403}Bye!
{15433}{15557}We did this rock profile special where I played|Lou Reed and Matt played Andy Warhol.
{15561}{15666}And we started doing this...|I spoke like that with a lisp as Lou Reed.
{15671}{15760}I said, "What do you want for your tea, Andy?"|He goes, "Chips."
{15764}{15868}I go, "You had chips for lunch.|What'll you have for your tea?" " Chips."
{15873}{16017}That just stuck in our minds, so we ended up|turning them into proper characters,
{16022}{16120}but I sort of kept the vague sense|of Lou Reed's hair.
{16125}{16186}We're playing about 60 characters each.
{16190}{16265}That does include when we're things like doctors...
{16270}{16340}- Man. Man.|- Man in sketch.
{16344}{16419}As for our comic characters, probably about three.
{16423}{16487}One, one. Between us.
{16491}{16591}Yeah, I know. This look isn't complete|without the specs, though.
{16621}{16687}Without the specs, it's just Mel Smith.
{16692}{16738}Slate 322, take one.
{16743}{16787}And action!
{16811}{16907}Right, I've finished.|Do you want to come and have a look?
{16912}{17016}Please give a nice FatFighters welcome|to the Slimmer of the Year!
{17020}{17084}Come in, Robert!
{17088}{17146}(APPLAUSE)
{17151}{17287}You are the Slimmer of the Year because|you lost the most weight out of anybody.
{17309}{17421}{y:i}Just now I had to wander around|in my underpants
{17426}{17513}and a T-shirt that's not mine|that's too tight-fitting
{17517}{17571}and play Slimmer of the Year.
{17576}{17637}Matt and Dave, very, very talented.
{17641}{17753}And the radio show was hilarious|and I think this is gonna be very good too.
{17758}{17847}Well, it's much better than "The Office",|isn't it? Yeah.
{17852}{17961}What was that? That was rubbish!|This should win loads more BAFTAs, I think.
{17966}{18078}And how can we eat the foods|that we crave and still lose weight?
{18082}{18122}So, cravings.
{18179}{18251}- Take your... Sorry.|- Shall we hold it there?
{18723}{18823}Shut up! I didn't nick nothin' apart|from that one thing and a few other things!
{18828}{18927}Apart from that, I never nicked nothin'|Have you been speaking to Wayne Dunn?
{18931}{19007}- Wayne Dunn... Sorry.|- (LAUGHTER)
{19011}{19083}Oh, my God, it's like so brilliant!
{19088}{19190}It's so much better than school because|there's no homework, lessons or nothin'
{19194}{19272}And like the... Oh, sorry.|I need to compose myself.
{19276}{19340}This funny thing happened|'cause this girl... Sorry.
{19417}{19469}(GIGGLING)
{19655}{19766}Of course, this is the real Vicky Pollard.|I am the real Vicky.
{19770}{19850}This is where we shot the school interiors
{19854}{19972}and we also used this|for one of the hospital exteriors as well.
{19997}{20101}Over there is where they're filming|"Judge John Deed".
{20105}{20232}{y:i}These nails are stuck on.|Though we've got other ones, Union Jack nails.
{20236}{20311}You can't lift anything or do anything with them.
{20315}{20367}I had some nails on as Marjorie,
{20371}{20474}but I had so much to do with pens|and giving things out that I got rid of them.
{20478}{20598}We did a Marjorie in the supermarket|and a Lou and Andy. It just makes sense.
{20602}{20714}Our producer! This is our producer Myfanwy.|The great Myfanwy Moore.
{20718}{20822}I say, "Write something simple."|They go, "Here's the sketch in an ice rink."
{20852}{20985}You've got to write something simple,|but also make your show look like no other show.
{20989}{21097}The most important thing is the jokes.|You've got to not lose touch with that.
{21101}{21226}I think that so many shows have come along|like "The Office", "The League of Gentlemen"
{21230}{21325}or "The Royle Family" or "Spaced"|which have been brilliant shows,
{21329}{21438}apart from brilliant comedy shows,|so people want more from their comedy now
{21442}{21500}and they want it to be memorable.
{21504}{21589}Certainly with sketch comedy|like "The League of Gentlemen".
{21593}{21665}- To do another sketch show...|- It's really difficult.
{21669}{21741}David was saying that he was doing Boris
{21745}{21832}and he had the body suit|that was made for Jon Culshaw.
{21836}{21944}Yeah. I think it was|Arnold Schwarzenegger or something.
{21948}{22079}It was very tight. He never complained, but|he had a contact lens in, gave you a headache.
{22083}{22160}- Honestly...|- How do you do it? How is it done? How?
{22164}{22224}And the pain of wearing the earrings!
{22228}{22321}The mild discomfort from an earring.|How do I carry on?
{22591}{22663}Oh! There was a full box here this morning.
{22667}{22727}You've been scoffing again, Miss Grace!
{22731}{22834}- Right, what are we up to?|- Er, 77.
{22884}{23021}{y:i}He took her into his arms again,|said he really did love her very much
{23025}{23083}{y:i}and gave her another longish kiss.
{23121}{23171}And action!
{23285}{23371}Well, that's always been Matt's problem,|hasn't it?
{23375}{23425}He's arrogant.
{23445}{23488}Oh, hi!
{23508}{23563}Mark begged to play this part.
{23601}{23661}"Give me this job, you shit!"
{23665}{23763}Mark, erm, script-edited the series as well.
{23767}{23859}I'm just writing the scripts now.|I'm just finishing them.
{23863}{23938}You've made a little sort of cameo as well.
{23942}{24017}I kind of cherry-picked this one. I liked this one.
{24021}{24128}It'll be just quite a treat|for viewers to suddenly see you, I think...
{24132}{24193}I wanted to be Vicky Pollard and...
{24239}{24289}It's very hard.
{24293}{24375}It's great when you're|in quite thick woollen pyjamas
{24379}{24459}and you've got a wig on and a tie|and you're very hot,
{24463}{24557}you've got a very energetic sketch to do|and you've just had lunch,
{24561}{24617}you've eaten a bit too much.
{24621}{24681}It's very conducive to full energy.
{24812}{24874}{y:i}- Just be a couple of minutes.|- OK, Matt.
{24925}{24984}Oh, I forgot all about this.
{24999}{25032}Oh, no!
{25036}{25086}- Buongiorno.|- Good morning.
{25090}{25140}- How are you feeling?|- All right.
{25144}{25253}You get used to it after a while.|Actually, this is a later call for me.
{25257}{25319}Usually I get up about twenty to six.
{25323}{25436}We're doing three sketches today|with this character Bernard Chumley.
{25459}{25522}I'm looking forward to that because, um...
{25590}{25653}I used to do that character on the circuit.
{25657}{25719}That was the first character that I ever did.
{25723}{25851}Certainly the early stuff we used to do live|was very divisive 'cause it was very rude.
{25855}{25915}And it was very juvenile as well.
{25919}{26054}The main criticism directed against the Bernard|Chumley TV series was how juvenile it was.
{26084}{26145}This is what a film set looks like.
{26149}{26199}Lots of white trucks.
{26281}{26351}This is Bernard Chumley's toupee box.
{26393}{26453}We have a vast selection
{26457}{26519}of delightful-looking dead things.
{26551}{26646}- One for every occasion.|- That's the producer.
{26650}{26737}Myfanwy Moore. This is the eyebrow too.
{26741}{26819}- Can you put names to the different eyebrows?|- Kimberley...
{26823}{26895}Roger, Tammy, Guy...
{26926}{26994}Simon, also Simon.
{27017}{27067}Hello, I'm here.
{27104}{27166}- Ah, you must be Joe.|- Yes.
{27170}{27265}Yes, come in, young Joe.|It's the room on the end.
{27434}{27514}I think my lips should be more fleshy.
{27533}{27665}I asked for four dogs and I just got three, so...
{27681}{27748}People not really doing their jobs.
{27808}{27868}Why don't you buzz off!
{27912}{27973}Yes, I heard you! Hello!
{27977}{28054}Oh, yes, yes. Do come in, yes.
{28058}{28147}Come with me|and we'll go and watch a video of Snoopy.
{28274}{28364}{y:i}(MATT) Hellol I'll start again.|Hellol I'll start again.
{28368}{28414}{y:i}Hellol I'll start again.
{28439}{28557}{y:i}Hello. You join us in Herne Bay.|We've just arrived in Herne Bay.
{28578}{28641}{y:i}It was extremely hot Friday and Saturday.
{28645}{28770}{y:i}We had Sunday off. We've come here|Monday morning and the weather is like this.
{28787}{28849}We should know, being ladies.
{29004}{29064}(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
{29081}{29156}- You normally wear this anyway, don't you?|- Yeah.
{29202}{29297}- Evenings.|- Evenings, don't you? Weekends, don't you?
{29301}{29425}I often come round to his flat|and he's dressed like that. It's no big deal.
{29429}{29486}Again and again and again.
{29490}{29584}Till the last drip of comedy is wrenched out of it!
{29607}{29682}It does play very well.|You know, that's really good.
{29686}{29838}See? 30 years at the RSC|and this is... why we write like this.
{29877}{29930}Bloody low-budget rubbish!
{29949}{30024}- We are in Herne Bay.|- Tell him how good it was.
{30028}{30088}- It was good.|- Out of ten?
{30127}{30177}- Ten.|- Ten.
{30181}{30247}Eight minutes before dinner|and two shots to do.
{30251}{30326}I would have said four, but generous.
{30372}{30444}Little Britain, 786, take four.
{30517}{30591}Just out of interest, who does your dresses?
{30716}{30793}- He does all his own walking.|- All my own walking.
{30797}{30894}- He won't let anybody do his walking.|- I've had the training.
{30898}{30966}And that's the end of our sketch.
{30970}{31048}If we have lots of series of "Little Britain",
{31052}{31152}I'll be able to afford to have|an ice-cream Mr Whippy pump
{31156}{31215}installed in my kitchen.
{31219}{31332}That is pretty much what I now want to...|you know, my ambition really.
{31336}{31411}That and have a chimp.|I definitely want a monkey.
{31470}{31584}Yesterday we were in Herne Bay|and today we're somewhere near Henley
{31588}{31680}where they film|"The Vicar of Dibley" apparently.
{31684}{31766}Very shiny, Susie, yeah? Plenty on.
{31770}{31832}I'll pretend I was looking over there.
{31955}{32020}- Hello, Daffyd!|- I'm commandeering this vehicle!
{32024}{32094}- Oh, sorry.|- All right, then, I'm not!
{32220}{32257}Good.
{32290}{32327}He likes it.
{32331}{32453}- Where would we be without Myfanwy? ITV!|- I just Brasso up his jewellery.
{32457}{32518}Well done, folks, that's a wrap!
{32557}{32614}Can't believe it's all sorted.
{32629}{32704}- Matt, do you wear stuff like that at home?|- Frequently.
{32708}{32760}Yeah, lots of nipple!
{33087}{33137}And action!
{33219}{33319}Ah, get off, get off!|What are you doing, man? Get off!
{33339}{33403}Get off! What are you?
{33407}{33444}Cut!
{33615}{33718}Today I'm following in the footsteps|of Michael Crawford by doing my own stunts.
{33744}{33825}- Would you like to check it?|- I've checked that. It's solid.
{33829}{33946}Safety is an important factor because|at any time in a stunt anything can go wrong.
{33950}{34079}It's for you guys, for the insurance guys.|I don't mind taking a risk. I'll be honest.
{34083}{34136}Whether it's with a joke or with myself.
{34140}{34251}- I mean, now that I'm behind the camera...|- You do do less.
{34255}{34320}I do less stunts as a rule.
{34376}{34446}- Come out of the bush!|- It was a stunt.
{34467}{34555}This must be one of the tawdriest stunts...
{34559}{34701}A man in a tracksuit falls out of a Fiesta!|This isn't what they dreamed of!
{34724}{34780}- OK, let's do a stunt!|- (HORN TOOTS)
{35565}{35602}Ohhh!
{35622}{35756}Still feels like the middle of the night.|I only have to walk from here to there
{35760}{35848}to get in this car, so it isn't actually that bad.
{35890}{35960}Yeah, I'm definitely feeling knackered, yeah.
{35991}{36051}Just trying to...
{36055}{36110}keep concentrating.
{36125}{36194}Last night I did stay out late.
{36198}{36269}And I didn't get home till about 2am, so...
{36295}{36345}That is very unlike me.
{36367}{36493}We're just going to try this wig on...|which we may or may not use.
{36497}{36547}So which one's your favourite wig?
{36551}{36702}I actually really like that look. It's very good.|I don't think I really look like me there.
{36721}{36832}Having teeth in changes the shape|of your mouth and the way you speak.
{36849}{36918}(LISA) I like Emily Howard's period wig.
{36922}{36981}That was a hard one, that...
{36985}{37048}because in a show where you play women
{37052}{37162}and then you also want to say|this character is a transvestite, though...
{37166}{37252}Obviously, you've got to think about why that...
{37256}{37355}- You've got to push it further.|- Make it different from other transvestites.
{37359}{37477}Most transvestites look like I look in the...|as women, don't they?
{37481}{37644}Yes. I'd like to work again after this.
{37648}{37751}{y:i}(DAVE) Being a lifeguard|was actually a job for me.
{37755}{37833}{y:i}- Was it?|- Yeah, me, also Simon Pegg.
{37837}{37891}It's strange, two coincidences.
{37895}{38024}We both worked as lifeguards in our summer|holidays and both went to Bristol University.
{38271}{38376}All Vicky's friends have renamed themselves -|Melody and Harmony...
{38380}{38473}Anyway, Shelley Bentley gave Craig Sherman|a blowy in the shallow end.
{38477}{38551}I asked you if you pushed that girl in the pool.
{38555}{38623}No, because I would never do that because...
{38627}{38702}- Pick it up from the "wee"?|- Do the last bit.
{38725}{38813}No, because I would never do that|because once like...
{38817}{38899}No, because I would...|No, because I would never do that...
{38928}{38986}No, because I wasn't even there because...
{39013}{39092}I'll go and get changed.|Sorry, I was just chuckling.
{39120}{39164}- Take six.|- And action!
{39168}{39249}- (BLOWS WHISTLE)|- Oh, shut up!
{39288}{39333}What?!
{39337}{39390}I ain't done nothin'
{39394}{39482}Oh, shut up! I ain't done nothin'
{39486}{39528}Shut up!
{39532}{39627}What? Shut up! I ain't done nothin'
{39735}{39787}'Ere! Cheeky!
{39791}{39922}It's a kerfuffle getting him in and a kerfuffle|getting him out. Other than that, it's fine.
{39926}{40062}It's a kerfuffle getting him in and getting him|out, but other than that, it's kerfuffle-free.
{40066}{40236}It's a kerfuffle getting him in and getting him out,|but apart from that, it's kerfuffle-free.
{40270}{40353}Just lower him very gently down into the water.
{40494}{40556}So if we go and help him in, yeah.
{40560}{40593}OK...
{40597}{40660}Right. Oh, how are we gonna do this?
{40678}{40742}- If you try and get the...|- A bit difficult.
{40746}{40796}Yeah, it can be.
{40800}{40856}- Did you shower?|- Yeah.
{40860}{40910}And cut!
{41099}{41177}We are here recording Tom's bits.
{41196}{41340}So Tom Baker is in the booth just over there|and he's doing all the episodes in one day.
{41344}{41403}It's quite a lot to do, isn't it?
{41407}{41499}- Let's do it!|- (LAUGHTER)
{41503}{41562}Tom, can we just do it like...
{41579}{41731}like you've received a dirty phone call at the end,|like someone has made a...
{41735}{41867}So just the line is, um, " Hello?|No, I'm not wearing any knickers."
{41871}{41980}We'll put the sound effect of a ringing phone|and then you say, "Hello?"
{41984}{42053}(HUSKILY) No, I'm not wearing any...
{42152}{42202}We'll keep that in.
{42206}{42282}You were our absolute first choice to do this
{42286}{42426}and you're having so much fun|with those Deep South phrases.
{42430}{42554}I just can't imagine anybody else|would say, "Oh, Mama!"
{42558}{42603}Mama... Oh, Mama!
{42607}{42677}How does it feel to be the voice of Britain, Tom?
{42681}{42758}I agree with it entirely.|That's why the boys gave it to me.
{42762}{42926}I'm playing these kind of pompous,|reactionary, nostalgic, er, sentiments
{42930}{42980}which are matters of fun.
{42984}{43071}The reason I do them so well|is I actually believe in them!
{43163}{43252}Once we've got the knee pads on, folks,|we'll shoot this.
{43256}{43354}That's Luke and he plays the miniature|of Dennis Waterman from behind.
{43358}{43476}But even he isn't small enough|and he's got to go down on his knees.
{43480}{43563}We haven't explained to him|what the whole sketch is about.
{43567}{43692}"Do you remember 'Minder'?" "No."|"Do you know this guy Dennis Waterman?" "No."
{43696}{43752}"He's in miniature." "Right."
{43756}{43811}Lovely. Do send him in.
{43815}{43921}- Hello. Oh, that's a big dog!|- Have you not met Wolfie?
{43925}{43987}They do start rehearsals on Monday.
{43991}{44083}Well, that's not much time|to write a new theme tune.
{44087}{44157}There's no music in it whatsoever.
{44161}{44211}How does it start, then?
{44215}{44265}Shake his hand.
{44294}{44453}{y:i}Besides the fact that we've got sketches to do,|to perform, and hopefully they'll go down well,
{44457}{44616}to me, I'm equally as curious to see|how the material that we've shot on location
{44620}{44689}over the last seven weeks will play in.
{44882}{44932}So shall we go out?
{44936}{45017}Before we shoot,|we always have a dance, don't we?
{45036}{45097}It's the "Little Britain" dance.
{45101}{45164}- Is this a way for grown men to make a living?|- Yes.
{45168}{45218}Get a proper job!
{45222}{45297}The artistes are ready,|the creators of "Little Britain".
{45301}{45386}Will you please give it up|for Matt Lucas and David Walliams!
{45539}{45607}- David, do you like Elvis?|- Yes.
{45611}{45734}So do I. They're really helpful|to Father Christmas at Christmas time.
{45753}{45810}David, where do you live?
{45814}{45909}- Isle of Dogs.|- I love dogs too, but where do you live?
{45943}{45993}(APPLAUSE)
{46029}{46131}{y:i}It's been two weeks and I still haven't received|your essay on Lord Kitchener.
{46135}{46219}{y:i}No, because I was going round Karl's|but then this thing happened
{46223}{46334}{y:i}because Shelley, who's a bitch, said|Destiny stole money out of Rochelle's purse,
{46338}{46393}{y:i}but I ain't even spoken to Rochellel
{46440}{46502}{y:i}Samantha's very good at oral.
{46619}{46720}I don't know if you noticed -|five words all in the right order.
{46763}{46831}It works well. It works very well.
{46835}{46932}If you pass a scarecrow, you've come too far!
{46965}{47061}My moustache has come off. BBC!|Tash come off - BBC!
{47076}{47185}- Shall we just stand in the light over here?|- No light over there. BBC!
{47243}{47302}Yes!
{47429}{47479}No more magic beans!
{47483}{47596}On the table behind Matt there|is Matt Lucas's mother!
{47600}{47660}(CHEERING)
{47876}{47938}This is how cheap this show is!
{48020}{48152}I get stabbed in the back with a blunt table knife!
{48189}{48259}What made them pluck me out?
{48263}{48325}(AUDIENCE LAUGHTER)
{48514}{48556}Molly!
{48573}{48610}Molly!
{48659}{48719}(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)
{48811}{48893}Molly Sugden, ladies and gentlemen! Sorry.
{48897}{48959}(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
{49020}{49090}{y:i}(MATT) I would never dream of...
{49119}{49268}{y:i}... wearing something even remotely|colourful and outrageous when I go out.
{49272}{49347}{y:i}I don't know why, and certainly not to a nightclub.
{49351}{49415}{y:i}But I would think nothing of wearing it on TV.
{49419}{49469}It's very slimming.
{49508}{49617}Shall I go, Mel, yeah? Five, four, three,
{49621}{49692}two, one, zero.
{49745}{49831}Have we still... Sorry, I've already cocked it up!
{49835}{49885}(LAUGHTER)
{49889}{49939}Right, no laughing!
{49957}{50011}It's throwing me!
{50031}{50086}(RUBBER SHORTS SQUEAK)
{50133}{50174}Greetings.
{50267}{50354}Ladies and gentlemen,|Matt Lucas and David Walliams!
{50358}{50418}(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
{50550}{50665}This is the edit suite where it all comes|together and everything happens.
{50669}{50740}This place has been a hubbub of activity.
{50744}{50824}This is the editor Mykola Pawluk.
{50847}{50958}We'll have to treat it.|Once it's treated, I'm sure it'll be fine.
{50962}{51011}{y:i}- Get outl|- All rightl
{51015}{51131}Every single sketch has got a card,|it's got its duration, everything on it.
{51135}{51295}For the last few weeks, all we've done|is sit and swap this huge jigsaw puzzle around.
{51299}{51383}Now it's all edited|and we're putting the show together.
{51387}{51445}We're ready to see the back of all this!
{51469}{51602}I'd known David and Matt|for a few years anyway.
{51606}{51741}When they started doing the radio show,|I think I volunteered for it before they asked me.
{51745}{51795}I was very grateful.
{51799}{51853}# Oh, oh, Babooshka... #
{51857}{51948}{y:i}We kept talking about all the things|it should and shouldn't be,
{51952}{52071}and it needs to be everything simultaneously,|just feeding from the characters...
{52075}{52195}people who, as far as they're concerned,|don't appear to have anything wrong with them.
{52199}{52301}{y:i}The music sort of reflects|that reaching out for something
{52305}{52366}{y:i}which is just beyond your grasp.
{52370}{52432}It's the most obvious|hitting the nail on the head
{52436}{52558}as plainly and as boldly|and as unashamedly as you can.
{52576}{52658}{y:i}# Oh, oh, Babooshka, Babooshka... #
{52662}{52814}Writing and performing comedy is probably|one of the easiest things in the world.
{52818}{52871}They'll tell you that.
{52875}{52927}Well, that's the end, so...
{52950}{53070}That's the end, so, hopefully, you'll come back|next year if we have another series.
{53074}{53136}Thank you very much for coming tonight.
{53157}{53217}Matt and David, ladies and gentlemen!
{53275}{53331}It's finished!
{53391}{53441}Thank you!
{53685}{53755}- Mark it.|- Slate 977, take five.
{53807}{53866}{y:i}(TOM BAKER) Oh, mercyl
{53870}{53946}{y:i}Oh, let me livel
{53950}{54013}{y:i}Oh, my sweet potatol
{54017}{54132}{y:i}Oh, my sweet Lordl
{54136}{54194}(LAUGHTER)
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